Have you ever wondered why the same things keep happening in your life. You keep getting the same results, attracting the same type of friends, partners, problems, situations, and you think, WTF what is it that I’m doing wrong? Well as the saying goes…..
“If nothing changes, then nothing changes”
You can’t expect anything to change if you don’t change. You can’t change others, you have to change yourself.
“If it’s gonna be, it’s up to me”
And that is where some people go…. I can’t change, or, it’s not me. Ok…then if you’re happy with living that way that’s fine. But for those of you who want to know how to change their life for the better and want to live the bestest, happiest life ever… Read on…………..
I’m not going to lie and tell you it’s easy, because it’s not, which is why a lot of people are still unhappy with their lives, repeating the same old habits, attracting the same old relationships, friends and circumstances into their lives.
And guess what?…….
That ain’t ever gonna change unless you truly, madly, deeply, want it to.
It all starts with you – recognising and admitting that “YOU” have to change if you want a better life. The facts are, it’s never about other people, it’s always about you. You always have a choice. That’s what you have to decide and here’s the kicker…
You need to become self-aware, reflect and look within, at what makes you tick, makes you upset and why. It’s not easy, but one of the ways that’s worked for me is – to sit with myself and ask my inner child, “why am I getting so upset about … “(whatever the situation is) and allow yourself (your mind) to come up with an image or answer to the question that explains why you get so hurt or upset. Your answer might come in a moment, an hour, a day or possibly longer. Give your higher self time to reveal the answer. This is particularly difficult and usually brings up past childhood events that are extremely painful. Once you have the answer from your inner child, acknowledge it as an adult realising your child self has not understood the situation, using your older, wiser mindset, and forgive or acknowledge your inner child for feeling that way. It’s hard but very healing. The great thing is – that each time you unravel a layer of childhood hurt, the more you heal and release the blockages and beliefs that have held inside you all these years.
Believe me, when I say, you CAN release old habits and deep-seated blockages that are holding you back from living a fabulous life… I know, because I have been where you are now and I can honestly tell you that it takes time and practice – but if I can do it, SO CAN YOU!
A bit about my story….
From the age of 9 until I was 15, when I was able to get a job and move out of home – I was emotionally, sexually and physically abused and as a result, grew up believing (on a subconscious level), that I wasn’t worthy of being cared for and loved…I thought you were meant to give whatever others wanted and please others. I had no idea how to set boundary’s and say no. I didn’t know any different and kept attracting the same abusive relationships, friendships, situations and constantly struggled to get ahead. My life was pretty depressing and I didn’t even realise it. I was just living what I knew. I didn’t know it was my deep-seated beliefs about myself that held me back. I married twice (two abusive relationships) over 25 years. Both those relationships were a great learning for me and in hindsight, looking back I realised that I had attracted those relationships into my life because of the deep-seated belief that I wasn’t good enough, or worthy of being treated like a goddess. I had to change and release those deep-seated beliefs.
So, how did I manage to escape that old life-style and change the course of my life?
Well… during that period from the age of 15 on-wards until the age of 42, I constantly worked on myself, going to counselling from time to time at the local church, I read books to better myself, I meditated to help me keep sane and calm and I gradually became very self-aware in the process. I forgot to tell you, that I met my best friend (who I’m still best friends to this day) has been my rock and provided the support that I so desperately needed in the earlier years. Without her, I don’t know how I would have coped.
I realise that everyone has a story and that there is always someone in the world that is worse off and that is what keeps you grounded. Because no matter what is going on in your life, there IS always someone who is going through worse things than you. It might sound flippant but it is all relevant and definitely puts things into perspective, you aren’t alone is all I mean.
Anyway, I can tell you, it’s just like anything else in life – if you want to learn a new skill – it takes practice, if you want to learn a new language – it takes practice, when you start a new job – it takes practice… you see the point don’t you. Yep….. it takes practice, practice, practice. But guess what, it is totally worth it, it will definitely pay off, the pain will go away, you will become free and your life will change in ways you won’t believe, Your life will CHANGE FOR THE BETTER and become AMAZING.
It’s a process which takes time – persistence and practice. But only you can do it, you need to decide whether you want to live with the blockages or if you want to change and free yourself to realise a better life awaits you.
“IF NOT NOW – WHEN?”
My life is AMAZING and WONDERFUL and yours can be too!!!!
I can honestly say, hand on heart and promise you, that if you make the decision to change – work on your inner child beliefs and change what you focus on – change your thoughts – you WILL change your life.
You can do it by thinking, doing and being positive in everything you do.
So here are the steps you need to take right NOW:-
Make your mind up NOW that you want and deserve a better life. What I realised at 42, was that I was focusing on what I didn’t want. WRONG!!! My life began to change once I started focusing on my ideal life and little by little positive things started unfolding before me. Whenever a negative thought crept into my mind or whenever I started thinking about what was and what my life was before – I promptly stopped those thoughts and re-focused on being happy and visualising how my ideal life looked and felt and I did things that my made my soul happy. (At that time, I started dance lessons – which I absolutely loved, I took my dogs for walks through forests – which I absolutely loved, I surrounded myself with things that made me feel good, candles, colourful cushions, pretty dresses, etc…). I began to live the life I really wanted, acting how I wanted to be and things gradually changed…
If you want a better life, my advice to you is to – make your mind up NOW that you want and deserve a better life. What I realised at 42, was that I was focusing on what I didn’t want. WRONG!!! I started focusing on my ideal life and it started unfolding before me. Whenever a negative thought crept into my mind or whenever I start thinking about what was and what my life was before – I promptly stopped those thoughts and re-focused on being happy and visualising how my ideal life looked and felt and I did things my made my soul happy. (At that time, I started dance lessons – which I absolutely loved, I took my dogs for walks through forests – which I absolutely loved, I surrounded myself with things that made me feel good, candles, colourful cushions, pretty dresses, etc…).
Focus on positive thoughts about the future ONLY. (Don’t stress if your mind strays into the past or on negative things – just recognise where your mind is going and stop…RE-FOCUS. Like I said, it takes practice). The more you practice, the easier it becomes.
Surround yourself as best you can with things that make you happy, that bring you joy and put a smile on your dial.
- play music that makes your heart smile
- watch movies that make you feel good
- go for walks in the park, along the beach, or forest (this is very healing and the vitamin D from the sun has been proven to make you feel good)
- make sure you surround yourself with things that make you feel good – have flowers in the house or wear your favourite perfume, or dress. Anything that makes you feel good, do it often.
Read motivational or inspirational stories and books. Meditate or listen to subliminal meditations when you go to bed – this will help re-programme your subconscious mind. Collect positive, inspirational quotes, speak them out loud… the power of positive affirmations spoken regularly and out loud will retrain your subconscious and help attract positive outcomes into your life.
Speak positive affirmations out loud, the louder the better. Daily mantra’s really drumming into your conscious and subconscious – new beliefs, retrains your thinking subliminally which is where the real transformation takes place.
Do NOT underestimate the power of the spoken word. Saying affirmations are more powerful than you can ever imagine. I know, because every day I see my words, thoughts and dreams materialising and every day I am amazed. The power of the spoken word, positive action and positive thought is reflected back at me. The miracle of universal energy reflects back to me what I’ve been focusing on, quite often granting wishes that I have uttered out loud. I have learned to let go of time-frames and how I think my dreams might manifest. It just doesn’t happen how you want it to, you can’t plan it, you just have to let it happen and trust that it will, just surrender it up to the universe or your angels and let it go, that’s the real key “surrendering”. Easier said than done sometimes. I now believe wholeheartedly in the magic of the power of positive thoughts, words and actions. My life is proof.
I do believe it is because I got rid of my deep-seated issues first because I have always been a positive person and until you get rid of the old shit first, the positive stuff is blocked by the negative stuff and can’t get out. Just sayin…
Don’t worry, I am human. I still have to practice positive thoughts… and I still sometimes forget and let myself get caught up in the occasional negative stuff that life throws at you. But I usually quickly recognise it, stop myself and re-focus. Sometimes negative things happen that are about other people, work, society and events outside your control. Sometimes it’s because we let our expectations get the better of us and sometimes it’s old layers and beliefs thrown at you in a different way, testing you and reminding you there are remnants in your subconscious that need to be dealt with. There is always a lesson to learn. I still have to speak out loud, on the odd occasion look at my inner child – utter mantra’s and practice positive talk. I am noticing that my goals and dreams are manifesting more quickly these days, and the more quickly I recognise it happening, makes my heart smile and I thank the universe because it is miraculous how it all works. It constantly amazes me when a goal manifests, I feel so blessed and I know it’s the universes way of telling me I’ve got it right, finally!
These are the things that have worked for me, “horses for courses” I say. So hope this is as helpful for you as it has been for me.
Love and hugs.